I need time

I might be quite cold to some of you guys, I might be look normal to some of you outthere... but I guessed I need to type it here and explain what's happening to me. No point escaping from reality.

Recently, results were out. As usual, I didnt do well. I only scored a GPA of 2.84. I'm very depressed, although there were no tabaos, but looking at all my friends scoring with high GPAs, and all planning to go exchange, all having much things to look forward to, I'm kind of affected.

Actually, to many, I'm a bubbly, happy-go-lucky person, I don't aim high for my results, as long as I'm on par with the rest. But it seems like I have been studying hard, doing lots of preparation, yet it doesnt work.

I'm just abit upset that I couldn't join my friends in their conversation bout exchange to other countries, and about how much they look forward to their studies. I'm very thankful who had friends who are very tactful, and tried not to bring up the topic bout results, infront of me. It really helps, thanks.

I need to be very frank that I had slowly developed mild depression problem as early as September in year 2008,not only bout results, but also other things in mind. I tried to do foolish stuffs, but thank to my dear friends around, I'm still safe and fine. I thought I had slowly jumped out of the darkness, but recently, it hits me again , and I will need time to overcome it.

I had promised my dear friends that I'm not going to upset them again, and I will slowly fight this war myself. If things get out of hand, I will seek doctor's help.

If you are my friend, do me a favour, don't ask me about my results, as I still cannot accept the fact yet. Do me one more favour, when I'm quiet, pls let me be.This is the best I can ask from you guys. Treat me as a normal person, as I will act normally and smile to you guys.

Depression isn't anything scary. Just take it as a normal illness, and I guess I will recover soon. I, just need more time, than many others out there.

Justin and Sophia, I've made a promised to you guys, and I'm not going to break it.

I'm going to face the reality, and walked through it.

It's nothing scary.

Thanks.